So Close, Yet So Far
by frogandrabbitsox
Summary: AU. This is a birthday present to my friend Ivy. Warning: IvyPol After missing her chance to confess to her close friend, Feliks (Poland), who had hooked up with Toris (Lithuania), Ivy has set her heavy heart on just being friends with him. However, a sudden turn of events may leave her another opening to steal his heart...


AN:/ Hurrah, I'm finally back to doing something with my account.

First things first, this fanfiction is a birthday present to my friend Ivy. As a kind-of-dedicated Hetalian, she fell in love with Poland/Feliks when she first laid eyes on him. She also declared to be wife of Poland...so yeah. To all those Polandxmyself shippers, I believe I am spoiling your fun. But remember, I am writing this for my friend, so if you ship PolandxLithuania (which I support, just saying) or anything else, don't force yourself to read it and punch my face in your Lalaland because of the selfish friend-shipping I'm doing in this story.

*To all you Polandxreader fanfic readers, if you have the personality of my friend Ivy (which I sort of tweaked in the story, because this is in the future...heheheh :), go ahead and blot out her name and use your name in it. It would be great if this fanfic were to be used in more ways than one.

Of course, you don't have to listen to me jabber all day. Go ahead and read at your own risk.

To Ivy: This is you in the future in an AU, so pardon me if your personality won't be like that when you get a great job. Happy belated Birthday!

-Cassie

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters of Hetalia, including Poland.

* * *

Snow drifted down from the colorless clouds onto the soft ground, covered with endless piles of white. Trees in the park were bare and lifeless, their bark gray in the reflective light of the precipitation around it. The soft white mesh cushioned her view of the world, from the ground to the tall skyscrapers that just grew everyday when she looked at them. Everything was fading to the whiteness of paper, almost to the glaring blankness of the thin matter.

The city lights shined through the think blankets of falling snow, like the sun through the feathers of falling angels. The upward sky was too blank, betraying nothing about the heavens. Nothing felt right today. Everything was reduced from colors that filled the night and day to gray objects buried in a cold cloud. She longed to get away from this wretched city.

People strolled past her, wearing colorful mittens and scarves, smiling. They were always smiling. They had a partner to talk to them. The were always in pairs. Their boots made the same noise at the same time when they crushed the papery snow beneath them. Warm, happy steam always froze over when it exhaled out of their mouth. They always held Styrofoam cups of steaming, bitter-sweet coffee with a brown, cardboard holder over them. Their melodic, delightful voices and their colors should have added some feeling to her empty canvas. It remained blank and piercing as her timber brown eyes were.

"So I just saw him the other day..."

"The movie was SO good!"

"Darling, I would never stop loving you..."

"Hahaha! Stop it! You idiot..."

Words didn't matter on paper. They never stayed and never told the truth. They were too riveting, to powerful, in the mind of a human. Make-believe stories interpreted in sounds would inevitably be lost in the destruction of the world, which would happen once the sun swelled up after using all its hydrogen atoms, only to end up with the dangerous element named helium. Math mattered. Science mattered. They were universal, something that silly humans didn't invent; the powerful universe did. As long as math and science existed, nothing else could compare to it.

She glanced at the buildings and analyzed it coldly. I could calculate how tall the building is from my distance, she thought, And how many people could fit in it. She shook her head; doing something like that was trivial and useless compared to her real job and purpose in society. She swiveled her head back forward and continued to walk the path around the cold park.

The snow fell through her hair and landed on her opaque figure. Her jacket was a dull shade of gray while her scarf, clean and decked with snow, was black. Her hair was straight and raven black. There was nothing impressive about her body, at least she thought so.

_A woman doesn't have to be pretty to be successful, she had always thought. Being smart and resourceful is how women should be. We should not show off our bodies for the sake of attracting a dim-witted mate. Knowledge is the true power._

_ Yeah, he had always said back, that's totally true, but look at all those women whose hot bodies, like, attracted males? Look how totally successful they are. They're stupid, yes, but in society, the, like, got themselves a job and a place. It's just society's fault._

She was not stupid, she knew how the world worked. He had a point. She hated him for that. She loathed him, despised him so much. She hated his words. She hated his cocky looks. She hated his lovely laugh and his flamboyant style. She absolutely hated the feelings he cast off. It was him. He had changed her. He made her hate words and feelings. He made her hate fictional stories, fantasies, and television shows. He turned her into this judgmental human, cold as stone. He shouldn't have ever existed.

The walk was slowly coming to an end. There stood the fountain that existed there for many years, watching people fall in and out of love. The carved decorations were fading, barely visible in the shadows of the passers-by. The white limestone was eroded yellow. Cracks lined the exterior. It has always been there, and it will stay until disaster came.

Just like him.

She shook her head. Now was not the time to think of him. There were much more important things. He was in the past. It was over for her.

Her eyes betrayed her for the second time. Thin droplets fell to ground of the papery snow. Her faced remained emotionless. She made no sound. She closed her eyes. Comforting herself was no use. It would always be the same. She would give herself five seconds of weakness.

_5..._

_ 4..._

_ 3..._

_ 2.._

_ 1..._

Your body is just getting rid of chemical compounds that instigates pain and sadness, she told herself again. It happened too many times already.

That means I am weak, right? That means I can't do anything? Her mind echoed her thoughts over and over again. Another wave of fresh sorrow made her bend her head downward. Her mind was fighting with itself once again. A headache threw itself into her pain threshold. Holding her head, she sat down and closed her eyes. The voices in her brain began to argue again.

_"Everyone cries, it's normal."_

_ "To hell it's normal! We should have gotten over this bastard a long time ago."_

_ "He's not a bastard! We should blame ourselves for not taking the chance!"_

_ "Well, he's a thick-headed idiot! He can't even read someone's feelings if his life depended on it."_

_ "He's gone for good. Some stupid chemicals in our brain won't stop our willpower and perspective on life"_

_"We'll forever be friends with him then. After all, he's too good to lose-"_

The voices kept bickering. It was to loud and confusing for her. She just lied against the bench she stumbled to and wished for it to be over. Fortunately, her headache passed and the voices receded from her brain. They ended up agreeing on one thing;they'll still be friends. No matter how much it breaks her heart.

"_We're great friends, aren't we? We should be, like, BFFs forever." _

Friends forever, it didn't matter. As long as he could still feed her imagination and she benefited from it, nothing else mattered. He was there for support only.

Her face contorted into a grimace and she slapped herself. "Dammit, that's not how I should be thinking at all!" Her self-hate grew at the thought of using him.

Suddenly jarred back to reality, she quickly composed herself. Now was not the time to be thinking about this. Life will go on, and she shall become successful. She plastered a fake straight face at the thought. Her emotions became covered by the blank mask of a face. People were arriving in dozens into the park.

I should leave, she thought. I don't belong here. Her steady footsteps moved her back onto the road. She sighed to herself. Though she was young, she could already feel her youth slipping away from her. Work, friends, family, life...they all brought their own little forms of torture. Youth didn't matter now. She just needed to be intelligent.

She transported herself back into her own little world as she walked the path home. It was easier being in her own little haven with a hazy curtain as a shield from reality. The walk home was a long one. She was so deep into her thought that she didn't notice anyone passing by her, or her body temperature lowering due to the ever-pouring snow that seemed to come down in bucketfuls.

"No, no, you are, like, not doing this. No, why – just listen to me – why are you doing this. Is this really not working? I thought that were were totally together...Oh. I see. Very well, if it makes you feel better. Okay then...goodbye.".

The man silently closed his cellphone with a trembling hand. He looked up warily and noticed that his feet brought him to a familiar park on a snowy day.

_How cliché,_ he thought sadly. _For this to happen on a snowy day. Such a bitter-sweet end. This whole thing is way to cliché. Gosh, I totally need a coffee._

He glanced around the familiar road and noticed a very short person (almost a midget, really) a few feet away from him. Her eyes were glazed over. She looked beaten down. For a second, he marveled at how close he resembled her. She looked aged, just like how he felt. His eyes widened when he gazed at the woman's face.

"...Ivy?" He was sure that was her. Why hadn't she contacted of late? Why didn't she try to meet up with him anymore? There were so many unanswered questions on his mind that his mind just _stopped_. Then, his voice broke into a full-on yell. "IVY!"

The voice seemed to break the woman's trance. Her brown eyes, momentarily startled, looked up. Her body halted into a rigid shock. What...what was _he_ doing here? Against all odds. Cliché, three points. Reality, zero.

Her lips could only mutter one word. "...Feliks?"

* * *

AN:/ I can also take requests on what to write from and for other people, because I love to do things for others (being useful to the world is nice) sometimes, and also, I can't think of good ideas for stories...heheheh. With a request and a deadline, I can improve my writing abilities, my concentration, and I can write a story for people. I think that's a win-win sort of deal, eh?

Reviews and critiques are always welcome. Thank you for reading my first chapter and surviving long enough to reach the bottom page.

-Cassie


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